As this group works towards its end point in a few weeks, we have been continuing to work through the excellent “Epilepsy and You” online course, created by our colleagues at Epilepsy Action.

This week’s topic was about memory, sleep and stress and as you will see it was a topic that brought up lots of emotions not just for our regular blogger Steven, who shares his feelings below.

It’s been a positive week  even though it has been feeling like Siberia and pouring from the heavens.

On Tuesday we continued with our online “Epilepsy and You” course created by our friends at Epilepsy Action.

This weeks topic emphasised the impact and effects epilepsy and  medications have on our memory.

I felt distressed during this session; it was agonising as I got really frustrated, annoyed and extremely embarrassed with myself, because  I can’t remember dates, times, and people’s names, even what I have just said to a friend vanishes from my brain.

I understand and have to accept there is certainly no miracle cure, and I have to try to manage in the best way I possibly can, battling with my horrible side effects on a day to day basis.

I am saddened by not being able to recollect considerable and satisfying amount of past memories of what should be special and unforgettable moments in life with my family and brother. I get so annoyed with myself because I am not able to revisit memory lane.

This terrifies me as in the future,  I would  love to consider myself in much better health , active and able to hold down a position especially one that I have always dreamt about doing, but I am scared that my memory will let me down.

I am always on the look out for answers, scared and anxious about a possibility of having dementia but know without a doubt my memory problems is caused by the condition and the medication, after all having seizures for twenty two years can’t be healthy.

Once again this week I was influenced and encouraged by all my friends at Epilepsy Futures, I appreciate that I am absolutely not alone, we are all supporting each other.

This weeks session was definitely essential, it was an uncomfortable subject but that’s only because I have chosen not to engage with it, because  I have been ashamed of for so long.

I do have my own personal coping strategies that I use for my memory, for example using a diary is extremely important and worthwhile to me as I keep it updated every week and month as I don’t want to miss any appointments.

I use a weekly medication box which I collect at my pharmacy every Monday. The benefit of this is so I remember to take my medications and can keep on top of what medications I have taken.

Thankfully, I have learned to  implement some relaxation and “me time in my life”, to help deal with stress and anxiety.

I have set myself a goal, to relax with a massage, as an individual this is something I’ve always desired to do… that’s if I don’t forget.

Steven Connelly